Remember the days when the worst gift you could expect was a red and green yuletide sweater with blinking lights and appliqued snowflakes and bells?

These days, you might get gift certificates for such delicate areas of personal development as plastic surgery, marriage counseling and anger management classes.

With gift cards and certificates booming for all manner of retailers -- experts say they top most holiday wish lists -- perhaps it was inevitable that they would eventually venture into treacherous territory.

But etiquette experts and even purveyors of these new better-yourself certificates warn that such gifts could be interpreted by the beneficiary as less generous giving and more insolent intervention.

"Before you buy, I say use your best judgment," says Peggy Post, an etiquette expert and great-granddaughter-in-law of Emily Post. "Stop and think first. Could this backfire? Do you know this person really well? Honesty is important in a relationship, but when giving gifts, try using honesty with tact."

Search and you will find a gift certificate for almost anything these days, ranging from liposuction and hair loss treatments to online dating services and sex therapy workshops. All potentially fraught with peril, yes?

"We live in a country where many people have pretty much everything they want," says etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore. "It's getting harder and harder to find gifts that they don't already have, so people put a lot of energy into finding that one-of-a-kind, personal and creative gift. I think we'll be seeing a lot more personalized gifts like these in the future. . . . It could be well-intended, but it might be misconstrued and possibly hurt someone's feeling."

Take for example, a new mom opening a card to find a certificate for an hour's worth of Mommy-Muse, a service providing online or phone therapy for women who might be overwhelmed with the "profound transition to motherhood."

Or picture a married couple's reaction when they discover that tucked inside that nice weekend getaway is also a $50 gift certificate for relationship enhancement with Coreen Plewa, a Santa Fe psychotherapist who offers the recipient an hour of deep listening.

Companies such as eHarmony and Yahoo are encouraging matchmakers to rescue their ambivalent friends and family from the affliction of singlehood. Yahoo Personals is launching its new gift program next month ($19.95 per monthlong subscription, $44.95 for three months or a generous $99.95 per year for those slower at coupling), and eHarmony's has been going strong for more than a year now.

"We haven't done any promotions, but it's been very well-received, primarily by word of mouth," says Lou Casale, an eHarmony spokesman. "It's a wonderful resource to encourage a friend. We found a lot of the people who purchased the gift subscriptions are married."

For Post, the etiquette expert, these gifts fall into the increasingly intrusive realm, along with everything else that is TMI and OTL, too much information and over the line.

"No one should be surprised that such gifts are given," says Post. "We've gotten so informal as a society that people don't think twice about asking questions that are too nosy or baring things that are too personal. These gift certificates are an outgrowth of that."

Gregory Fernandopulle, a psychiatrist who runs a private practice, suggests that catching someone unawares with such a gift would be ill-advised.

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